About Me

October 28, 2011

Oi pilot!

An attempt to write down in one sitting how a day in a life of a motorcycle-pilot can be.

 

         Today, I am writing down something meaningful for the first time in my life.  It took me some time to get started though, and my wife is still wondering why I have decided to take my son’s pencil in my hands. But I can’t help it! My brain is clogged up with thoughts like never before. It has been an extraordinary day for the motorcycle pilot that I am!

      I have decided to stop surviving and start living. I have not read all the great philosophers that you might have, but I have had experiences. The ones that can change a life.

      It’s been two years since I started ferrying Mohanji to the temple every morning. He is the typical old aged guy that you see all the time; complete with a walking stick and a shopping bag in his hands. Not to forget, those thick glasses that sat on his nose! Well, I still remember they way I first met him. While returning home, I saw this old guy chasing down a pick-pocket with his stick. Yes, it was hilarious to see such a scene but I saw some extraordinary spirit in this guy. After he finally let go of the pick-pocket I decided to take him, free of cost. It was a decision that I would never regret!

     Today, like any other day he was the reason why I wake up with enthusiasm. Picking him up every morning and listening to how his day was is what makes me look forward to live another day. He tells me that he has only his wife to talk to. His kids abandoned him few years ago with pension being his only means of earning his bread and butter. But today was destined to be different. Mohanji never came. The only time this had happened before was when he had fallen down from the stairs, a year ago! I waited for quite a while. Growing impatient, I walked up to his house. To my surprise, there was a lock on the door. A few moments later, I came to know that he had passed away the day before.

    For a moment, I thought that a part of me went numb, something went missing. I never felt as hollow as I had felt at that moment. With a heavy heart and an utterly confused mind, I walked towards my motorcycle. I drove away in denial to the very same temple. I had to say a few prayers for my dead friend who had taught me enough already. Those two years, they just flew past my eyes. Sigh! I had to move on. Somehow or the other, I had to!

    The morning passed by and in a few hours I found myself resting near the beach with my tiffin box. I had a few minutes to have my lunch if I wished to bag a few decent trips. Then again, I got reminded of Mohanji.

      And then for the first time in my memory, I felt frustrated, as if a war was brewing within myself. So this was how it felt! For the past few years I felt no sense in feeling sad, depressed or lamenting over something. I accepted the fact that I’m here to eat and sleep, and perhaps feed my family. Where does the pain fit in? How does it matter when I barely manage to make end meet? And then, something weird happened.

     I cried.

    You might ask me what is so great in crying, eh? Have you anytime felt frustrated? That too in the middle of a crowd? Suddenly realized how bad things were? You must have! But today, the loss was unbearable. And without paying attention to all those people passing by, I cried out aloud. There I was, doing things that I never thought were socially acceptable. If babies can cry, why can’t I? If people kiss on a beach, no one cares. But if I cry at the same place, they all think that I’m gone mad. Some might think I’m suffering from a deadly disease. Makes me wonder, what is the difference between these emotions? People are at peace with happiness, aren’t they?

     But there was a gem that i unearthed from today’s experience. One should always express their emotions. Putting a lid on them, especially for years makes you less of a human. Someday, sometime they all are bound to burst out as a volcano. Some cry for attention while others cry hunting for peace. Emotions are meant to be expressed, not buried deep within.

     I love watching people on the streets. They walk, they talk and sometimes they run. While some run behind the busses that they are about to miss, others run like wild apes after money. I wish I could do something with my life, I wish I could be one of those rich guys……but….. Sigh!

     It was late afternoon, all that gloom had worn off. And I was out on the streets, doing my usual trips. Just after dropping a woman and her child at the bus station, I came across an unusual sight. It was a monk in ochre. Buddhist, if I’m not mistaken. And as I stared at him, I realized that he was walking in my direction. Ah! this day is already turning out to be impactful, I thought to myself. And yes, it turned out that he was new to the place and it seemed that he was here to meet a childhood friend of his who apparently lived on the other edge of the town. Not bad, I thought to myself. Maybe I can get some conversation started!

   As it turned out, there was no need for all of that. We soon indulged in small talk, good enough for such a long trip through the traffic. But as luck would have it, we met with an accident soon enough!

   With all those things that happened to me today, I was not in a right state of mind. Add to that, talking with a guy seemed to distract me more than usual today! With all of these things going against me, I crashed into a big car. At such times, it doesn’t matter how many potholes and stupid drivers one has evaded in his driving career. One mistake can spoil your life and the customer’s life too! All because of a mistimed brake, I crashed into the rear of that car. Both, me and the monk were thrown off the bike. Soon enough, a crowd gathered. The driver of the car came barging at me and gave me a slap. There was a huge commotion, but funnily I didn’t speak a word. I didn’t react at all. The driver, the rich man that he seemed he was kicked my motorcycle and after finding it futile to argue with me, just jotted down the registration number and vacated the place.

   I burst out in a smile the moment he left. I still wonder why I did that! Someone told me that when you get depressed, the craziness gets to you! Soon, we were on our way. Oh the bike! It wasn’t damaged a lot, just a dented mudguard and that’s all! In no time, our conversation was back on track. Just that it took a different route this time. It was about serious stuff!

    The monk first lauded me for my ability to stay calm in such situations. He was under the impression that I could control my anger and such. But he was in a state of shock when I hold him the truth. When I told him that the friend the ‘rich’ driver was once a best friend of mine. That I used to share my tiffin with him way back in school. That a lottery win has taken him where he is right now. Yes, that is the truth. I wonder how a friend could ever slap another.

     And the best was about to come! Soon enough, the monk told me about the Buddhist philosophy of ‘detachment’. All that he said was that once you are used to something like a material object, a person or a way of living, one should also make himself tough and brave enough to survive without that particular thing. He says that things don’t last forever. If even they look to do so, we shouldn’t be shocked it something turns against out wishes. One should accept such hiccups and live on! An old friend mistreating me was bad enough to shock me out of wits. But if due to certain circumstances things have turned out to be that way, I should do my best to get it back to good. Morals and values take a toss in-front of materialistic goals, he was saddened the most with this fact!

    The time had come for me to drop him to his destination. I just hoped that he too didn’t receive a cold shoulder from his friend. Then I thought if I really wanted to be a ‘rich’ guy one day.

    With all that happened today, it took time for all of this to sink in. But in the end, it all made sense. Here I am, facing a loss and nursing a slap which my wife still doesn’t know about. All I wish is that she doesn’t mistakenly assume that a kiss is what has given me a red cheek. My hands are aching now, I have written too much. Enough of my stories for now! That was a day in my life, not just another ordinary day.

3 comments:

Mr. Bhakta said...

"Some cry for attention while others cry hunting for peace. Emotions are meant to be expressed, not buried deep within." makes a lot of sense for an emotional person like me. At times I cannot control my emotions. I cry out in front of all, I show my feelings, may be that's what makes my world so different. Using pilot as a medium, wonderfully you have stated various emotional characteristics of humans and the fact of the ultimate truth that we have to agree and yet keep our life going without any lack in the spirit... all I can say is "It was a one of the post from your heart, not just another ordinary post... keep going :)

Swarada Dessai said...

simply touching! "Then I thought if I really wanted to be a ‘rich’ guy one day" says it all!

Raj Kunkolienkar said...

Thanks, fellow bloggers! Swarda and Ram!

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Me, Midas Touch by Raj Kunkolienkar is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License.
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