Quickie.

    It has been two months since I last blogged. Maybe more than that. Blame the exams and my busy life. Leave all that aside for a moment. Let me get to the point. Allow me to make it random. Questions and a stanza or two await you.

   This is a quickie. I’m desperate to write. ___________________________________________________________

“You are like a blank paper. Blank.

You speak of nothing, tell no tales.

I would fall for it that you came from a rock.

 

But then I know, you were once a tree.

Lush and full of life to spare.

Can I ever get you back there?”

 

     Is equality a law of nature? Is the world fair and equal to one and all? One nice quote.

“Being nice to the world and expecting it to treat you the same is like being an vegetarian and expecting a tiger to spare your life for that reason.”

    I have conflicts in my mind whether equality truly exists. Billions of people are born in the world. Some die within a year and those who survive, well they just survive. A very few live. Think of those who died before they could even give their parents the joy of hearing their baby’s first word. Or those innocents who were massacred in an act of war. Or swept away in a tsunami. I ask, what was their crime?

    Go on. Tell me they committed a sin in their previous lifetime. Go on, invoke rebirth. Tell me that the purpose they served was to highlight the plight of the hungry and the destitute all over the world. I ask, why choose them, these innocent mortals to bring the issue to the attention of fellow humans. Why this inequality in choosing who dies? Sacrifice? For what? A piece of land which you think belongs to you just because it is on paper? Sigh. We are not different, are we? Yet we are not equal. Now blame it on the creator’s plans will you? Spare him. Spare him the blame. You know who is the culprit.

    Go on, kill the animals, eat them just because they are tasty. And helpless too! I ask, who has given you the right to kill other living beings if you can survive otherwise? And why shoot a lion if it tries to survive off you, then? Why this inequality? Don’t bother to think, is that your escape? Try.

    Who are we? Why do we act like the boss, when we know we are not?

   I am not frustrated. I’m simply crying from within. I am just like you. I am guilty. And I’m trying to make you feel the same. No offence.

    I think the following piece from my Facebook Timeline speaks volumes about what I consider as the truth. Right click and zoom to read the text comfortably.

  

   Yes, I do believe we are here without a purpose and I build up on the stand I take in the last few lines of my previous post, Being Human. We might be an accident. But how much of an accident are we?
     The discussion brings me to another crucial junction but it involves a detour. Are we puppets who are here to enact a story that is already written? Or are we the master of our future? Herein, lies the great free will v/s determinism debate. Let’s see what science has to say. Mind you, I am no expert but I shall try my best to give you a rough idea.

•   Determinism

  You must have surely heard about Einstein’s theories of relativity. Take the General theory of relativity. What evolved from it is the idea that the universe is like a loaf of bread. Each slice, representing a still of the universe at a given point in time. So, different slices show you how the universe is at different moments of time. This is known as a block universe. This, is where the past, the present and the future all exist. What do I mean by ‘they all exist’? Well, they all are equal. They all ‘exist’ in their own right. It is just that you experience a different slice which you call ‘now’ or ‘present’.

   Suppose there eventually is a ‘theory of everything’, that is something like a formula that you chug in all the information about the universe in and given enough computational power, you will be able to see the past or the future as the laws of nature don’t change over time. Well, that means your future is already out there. You are just walking towards it. What is to happen, will happen. And you are already immortal. Death won’t affect your existence as they frames of time you were ‘alive’ in, they all exist!

•  And Otherwise

   I pretend you must have heard about quantum mechanics too. It is the theory that governs the minute domain. The funniest part with the theory is that is mathematically beautiful, and it is very much true to real world observation but no one knows for sure what the math means! No one knows the physical significance of the math! So, many people came up with different interpretations of a single observation.

    The observation is somewhat like this. When a tiny tiny (does that make it cute?) particle goes from a point A to another point B, you just can’t tell what path it took. Straight, curved or maybe around the moon. Suppose a ideal train was to travel from Mumbai to Delhi, knowing its speed you could tell where the train is without actually having any contact with the train. On the contrary, you just can’t say anything about where the particle is until and unless you detect it. That’s nature.

   Also, you should know that every particle has something called a ‘wavefunction’ associated with it. A wavefunction is supposed to contain all the information that one has to know about the particle.

    The Copenhagen Interpretation says that when an act of ‘observation’ is carried out, the particle is forced to assume a particular position, it is no longer vague. This is known as the wavefunction collapse. That is, the probability of finding the particle at the place it is detected is unity.

    Another interpretation, which is steadily gaining steam is the Many Worlds Interpretation. At every event with an inherent uncertainty attached to it, the universe splits or forks into many more universes. Every quantum possibility is realised albeit in a different world. The universe, is not deterministic in a philosophical manner. I won’t go to the length of relating this to free will, though. But I do hope you get the gist of what I am trying to lay before you.

     That is, the sort of contrasting views about what exactly is happening. Scientists are yet to figure out what the truth is. Do read up on this from reliable sources if you are interested in knowing more as I am afraid I might have over-simplified it.

  But wait.

Wasn’t I supposed to be here doing only a quickie?

Ah, the damned diversions!

 

Yours,

Thebiggerbang.

Being Human.

      Not blogging for the past few weeks felt as if my philosophical side had gone into a hibernation mode. So here I am, all set to revive myself. To digest that much needed the food for thought that I have chewed upon all these days. Exams, provide us with more than enough on our platter. Like everybody else, we make grand plans that vanish in a puff as soon as the exams get over. Most notably, the grand promise of taking a long nap the day the last paper gets over. It never happens with me, blogging being my priority. Sharing my thoughts is a passion.

       Often, small worries get us down. Be them missing out an answer in an examination or a cell-phone that we want. In this post, let me delight you, excite you and take you on a journey where we shall together explore what it is being human. Seldom does a passing thought get directed towards issues regarding the basis of our very own existence and how special it might turn out to be. There is the science and there is the philosophy behind our existence. Let the journey begin.

        Being born is quite an event. No wonder our entire family tree is jubilant when that happens. I remember reading a text saying that whenever we face trouble, we should recall the fact that once upon a time our origins are to be attributed to that one sperm that won the race. But does the ‘being lucky’ part starts right there? I think that there is more that we miss out on.

     If I were to write an acknowledgement or make an acceptance speech at the Oscars Nobel Prize giveaways, maybe be list would run like this.

• I would like to thank the universe for creating itself out of nothing. Possibly.
• I thank the laws of nature for being the way that they are. In fact, string theory allows for a vast number—10⁵⁰⁰—of possible ‘worlds’ with different self-consistent sets of laws and ­constants. Thank you for landing me in here!
• I thank all those events that occurred for billions of years to get the universe to the state that it is currently in. 13.7 billion years to be specific. Cheers to all those stars that exploded and all those gases that ganged up to make up more stars and galaxies. From the innumerable quantum uncertainties to the explosive supernovae, thank you.
  
• Cheers to Mother Earth for landing up in the habitable zone, the ‘Goldilocks zone’. Not to hot, not too cold.
  
• How can I forget that comet which seeded the Earth with life? Or perhaps to life itself for coming into being from a random arrangement of molecules? A bolt of lightening? Thank you, whatever you were!
  
• To evolution, those million years that gave us the tools of survival. These teeth and those eyes, minus the tail. And to whatever brought about consciousness, the state of being aware of your surroundings and influencing it at your own will.
  
• To my entire family tree, right from the organisms that arose out of the primordial soup to my ancestors for mating with the right person. For doing all that they have done. As a matter of fact, every generation you climb up leaves you with twice the number of people to thank, it is an exponential increase since we started mating sexually. I too plan to keep up your hard work and keep the wheels moving on!
  
• Ah. Finally to that damn sperm that was lucky enough to find itself home. One in a million. That reminds me, one in a million sperm won every time your ancestors mated!

   Anybody game for calculating the probability of you having ended up here? The number zero will be given a run for its money. This brings me to unveil before you a beautiful quotation by the Austrian physicist Erwin Schrodinger who has indulged in considerable philosophy.

“How would we express in terms of the statistical theory the marvellous faculty of a living organism, by which it delays the decay into thermodynamical equilibrium?  The device by which an organism maintains itself stationary at a fairly high level of orderliness, really consists in continually sucking orderliness from its environment.”

     If that was a bit tough to chew on, let me elaborate. All he meant to say is that life is something that ‘miraculously’ manages to keep itself going on despite the odds being tremendously against it. What strikes you the first, when I tell you think about life? A picture of a micro-organism or perhaps, your very own arduous struggle? Whatever it may be, we look at it in such a superficial manner that we forget to appreciate it and its workings. That is where, everything that came before the one-in-a-million sperm gets forgotten. Sometimes, the poor sperms gets forgotten too. Sad, isn’t it?
      10⁵⁰⁰ and counting. That is a one followed by a five hundred zeros. So, the question asked by many learned folks is whether we, humans occupy a special place in the universe or whatever that there is. Whether, this universe was set in motion with the right ingredients just so that one day, we could walk on this land and appreciate its beauty, maybe bring about our own end. After all, what is the use of a universe when there is no one to observe an appreciate it? Or is it that we are just an outcome of chance? Of a probability that is of mind bogglingly small magnitude. That, we just came to be, and do not posses any special position in the scheme of things. Sorry. The question is of chance versus choice is never-ending, as I have found out. It remains one of the hottest topic that we ever discussed at the observatory.
     The Anthropic principle advocates the first case. According to it, the universe has moulded and evolved itself in such a way that conscious beings ended up observing and understanding it. It created itself in such a way that it ended up getting observed. Because it wanted to be. This argument, toes the thin line between metaphysics and cosmology. People who argue for it cite the fact that the value of the fundamental constants are just they way that they are supposed to be. Not a little more, not a little less. They say that the selectivity the universe has shown for these constants clearly portrays the fact that it favoured carbon-based life. On the other hand, cosmologists argue that we might not be so special. Why would we have to be? We might just be stranded in a universe which itself exists in a multitude of universes. What is so special is the fact that we realise that we are here. And that we are stranded.
      Would it do wonders to you if you knew that you posses around a 100 atoms that once figured in Isaac Newton’s body? Or maybe Emperor Ashok? Yes, each and every one of us. We are a part of one big recycling machine known as the universe. But where did all of these atoms and the subsequent molecules come from? Have you ever wondered about that? The answer lies in the simple fact that we are made up of star-dust. You might find this gross, but when our food and excreta are fundamentally made out of the same basic atomic and even molecular constituents, why is that we mentally place them a world apart? Why do our associations and reactions to them differ? Just give it a thought. But don't radically change the way you think about food and poop. You will stop being human. Let me quote a small part of today’s The Speaking Tree column.

“In the divine game, One becomes many. Only the One exists, as truth, as consciousness, light and love. But the play scripted by the Divine is one where not only does One become many but many become One. Oceans, rivers, mountains, streams, everything is One manifested as many.

The ocean has numerous waves; can we say that each wave has an identity independent of the ocean? The identity of the wave exists because of the ocean, just as life exists because of the divine. Each sun ray exists because of the sun. Therefore to declare, "This is my life," has no meaning. Because with forgetfulness and ignorance, the ray forgets that it came from the sun, and starts imagining that it is separate. Our situation is similar. As human beings we forget our origins and end up saying this is mine, or that I exist. It is the ego that makes you say so.

One becomes many, and the many live on in ignorance. No sooner do they lose their ignorance, than they will feel that they are part of the One, the only One which exists, and exists everywhere.”

    Being human comes with a truckload of benefits and naturally, worries. After all, nature provides for balancing all the good with some stuff bad. And we should accept that fact. What makes us humans so different from other living organisms? What quality of ours separates us? I used to think that empathy was the answer to the question. And that was, until I read this.

    So, it might not be that empathy is the answer to that question. Do let me know if you think that there is any one characteristic that distinguishes us from other living beings? I hope it isn’t something like hate, jealousy or the ability to self-destruct that is the answer. That would be real bad.
     I like to wonder upon how we have made such deep and complex forays into nature that we can relish a marvellous piece of music and understand what seems to be random tapping of keys on a keyboard that eventually you can see with your eyes, decipher and understand. Smile in the end, perhaps. Creations right from the arts, sports and philosophies enrich our lives.  Humans have a powerful tool in their hands; they are called feelings. What follows is a innocent and simple poem that one of one my friend, Maithili Shankhwalker wrote a few years ago.

“How do I pen down feelings?

They actually mean a lot

But writing them down on a paper

Have you given this a thought?

 

If you come to think of it

Feelings are not a few

Every now and then your feelings

Are something new.

 

One sweet feeling is

The feeling of love…

It’s not a feeling that can go away,

With just a shove.

 

An unavoidable one is

Of happiness which we all feel

Even if it’s a feeling of grief,

Time will heal.

 

The dangerous ones are of desire and hatred

They are as destructive as fire and ice,

To destroy relationships and life

Either of them would suffice.

 

How can I forget the one of jealousy?

We all feel it once in a while

The feeling makes us really self-centred and

With it we can’t even walk a mile.

 

The feeling of superiority

Can do no good.

It only makes you egoistic and

A whole lot rude.

 

Its antonym inferiority

Is also no way positive

It just makes you under confident

And very very sensitive.

 

The feeling of forgiveness

Makes us divine

It brings out the good in others

Making them shine.

 

The feeling of sympathy

Paves way for the values of care and concern

It makes us human

And takes away qualities like treason.

 

The feeling of confidence that we have in us,

Gives us self motivation.

Helps us in fulfilling our dreams

And reaching our destination.

 

The feeling of satisfaction

Is basically an experience of fulfilment

It makes us happy,

And most of all, content.

 

The feelings of guilt and repentance

Would have made me feel defeated

If I had not penned down the poem

That I have just completed.”

      Right from love to hate, boredom to excitement we all do experience them. Feelings are universal, in whatever language you bother to describe them. Isn’t it wonderful that you saw your life flash past you as you read the poem? How the author successfully conveyed the truth about feelings? We often take such beautiful things for granted. Again, it is human to do so. Isn't it?
     I can very well understand the fact that this blog-post must have made your mind feel quite worked up and although I can go on and on, let me top it of with some thought for you to take home!
      We humans, we are not born here to be judged by the means of any tool. Be it an exam or prejudice by another human. We are born to be and live a life for ourselves. They say, we are not born with a silver spoon in our mouth and nor do we take one with us when we die. We come from the dust and end up in the same dust. The very little time that we have to spend here, should be made as beautiful as possible. For us, for the others who undertake a journey called life alongside us. Leave nothing to repentance, for you only live once. Like like a child, I say. Yes, these days the supposed God of Death says that in a TV commercial. He might not exist, but makes a correct statement. Live to inspire others to live. Even if you fail one day or the other, accept it. Learn from your mistakes and let go of them. If you have inspired someone, you shall have the satisfaction of seeing that someone do great in life. Isn’t satisfaction all that we live for?
     Male or female, why do we draw lines? John Lennon rightly askes to imagine a world with no religion, a world without borders and countries. Wouldn’t that be in the true essence of the universe? We all come with a purpose to fulfil is what some say. If you don’t believe in that, remember that probability that brought you here. Create your own purpose. It was not your choice to be born to the parents or the place that you were born in. The other way round, your parents didn’t get to choose what kind of child they got. It is a fair game, this life. For, we all are gifted with blank paper to write the story of our own choice.
 

You are given the chance to be a human.

A chance to be special.

A chance to be YOU.

Live it up like a boss.

 
Live it up as if it is 
thebiggerbang!

No copyright infringement of images intended.

2011 : The year that was.

The year bygone,
Piled bricks on my wall.
The wall of life,
Remains stronger than ever.

Like a river,
Time flows unhindered.
Some drowned, and sank.
While others learnt to swim.

Battles were fought,
We were winners and losers, both.
Lessons to learn and teach,
So let’s turn a page,
Unlock the future.

  
     The year 2011 was one of the best cycle of 365 days that I went through for reasons more than one. In this post, I try to scribble in a few lessons that I learnt this year. A few experiences and milestones in brief with the sole intention of leaving it up to the reader to connect and relate the cited experiences with what they have undergone. For, my life is an open book.
In random order :

1. Loving silence and preferring to be lonely doesn’t always mean that you are depressed. You seek peace. It is one’s nature.
   
2. I left behind the times when poems used to flow only in times of sadness.
   
3. As the audience at a workshop, I realized that if a speaker goes on explaining his work undisturbed by the discomfort in the audience, he is in love with what work he does.
   
4. To do science, it is a pre-requisite to have an open mind and not a degree from college.
   
5. A story always has two sides. If not, then it isn’t a story! Always support the right side of it and not the one you can easily relate and sympathize with.
   
6. I learnt that one can be easily taken for a ride and then told that the friendship was mistaken for love.
   
7. While trying to estimate a person’s quality, don’t listen to your prejudice. Experience the person before passing a mental verdict.
   
8. I learnt that if you don’t find a reason to explain what you are doing, stop doing.
   
9. The best quotes strike you when you have a bath or answer nature’s long calls.
   
10. To swim against the tides, you have to be in the water. Can’t avoid getting wet and dirty.
    
11. People are waiting to be discovered. Places and things too. You have to make efforts to break the ice. You might just be shocked with what you find! I was.
    
12. Signalling to people to switch off their headlights during day-time is now as natural to me as breathing is.
    
13. I learnt that classical music and the oldies deserve as much respect, if not more than the new hits. Music is music, today or tomorrow.
    
14. Finally I drilled in myself the fact that if my fundamental thoughts and ideologies don’t match with a person, trying to maintain a relation beyond a greeting is like hunting for a living dinosaur.
    
15. I tried and tried, but still forgot that ‘i’ comes before ‘e’. Or is it the other way round??
    
16. I was exposed to philosophy, psychology and spirituality. They have revamped me and my thoughts.
    
17. Steve Job’s death, reading ‘Tuesdays with Morrie’ and obsessive thinking brought me closer to death, but not dying.
    
18. I was saddened by the fact that I no longer was entitled to ‘return gifts’ at birthday parties but happy that I was exempt from those silly games. Yay!
    
19. I learnt how to shave on my own. YouTube helped me a lot!
    
20. I realised that science is closer to life than we think. It is life itself.
    
21. I ended up respecting all the ‘M’s in my life. Mom (Madhavi), Mushtifund, MIT and a Mystery.
    
22. No, I haven’t got into MIT as yet. But applying itself was worth it. Getting selected as I learnt, will be just an added bonus for being a good boy.
    
23. The lyrics don’t make you fall in love with a song. It is what meaning that you see in them that drive you gaga. (pun unintended)
    
24. I learnt from all my mistakes. I learnt so much that I don’t repent making the mistakes. My mistakes decide what person I end up being. Yet, they remain unintentional.
    
25. If you act like a bag full of agonies, people will stop lifting up you and your spirits soon.
    
26. I observed that it is no use cursing the place or perhaps the parents you were born to. It was not your choice. But what you end up doing in your life, what you make out of it is all in your hands.
    
27. Everyone has their own definition of ‘love’. I learnt that I can voice out mine, but no use preaching it. Others value their own opinions as much as you value yours. Respect, understanding and trust is all that is required.
    
28. I asked for it, and I got a Beatles song for my mood.
    
29. Blogs and friendships. I realized that not updating them despite valuing them is a sin. If you can’t find any value, free yourself of the burden!
    
30. I found a lot of other weirdoes like myself. Hence, I realised that I love being alone because I know I am not!
    
31. I tried and succeeded at making people who cry, laugh.
    
32. I decided to start questioning everything. Relating the behaviour of people to the sciences is fun!
    
33. I learnt to share, say a sorry and throw in a thank-you from the bottom of my heart.
    
34. I once told a person that I don’t want to keep the person forever with me, I just want to be with him/her.
    
35. I learnt how to turn teachers into friends and use my friends as teachers for life.
    
36. I learnt that symmetry is elegant and beautiful. Mathematics talks to us!! We all love it. Hence, I decided to end this list at item number 6². For now, that is!

Do let me know which one was your favourite or what is that we had in common for the last year! There is not going to be any apocalypse this year. If there is, sue me in heaven if it exists. With love, Thebiggerbang

Work in Progress.

Isn’t it all that we are? Work in progress?

Fly like a bird in the yonder,
Be there where you never were.
Let the night wait for another day,
Fear, let it hide for a while.

No unknown awaits those who,
Know thyself, in and out.
Be the leaf that knows to be one,
with the water it drifts in.
Forever. And ever.

Morning shall come. Oh, so soon.
Dig away all you can, gold or dust.
The glitter that matters is not,
That yellow but your eyes.

      That’s what I felt when I was walking down from quite an abstract experience from a recent movie that I saw. It was all there, in the air. The mind lay bare naked, waiting to be interpreted. So I thought to myself, why don’t you do the same? A cloud of thoughts, unrelated perhaps but brought together under one roof. And that’s what I have done. I’m here to experiment! Let it be a conversation!
     Not many have asked me why I maintain a blog. Let me be very frank with you. I blog so that I can preserve a slice of my life for years to come. Everything else is secondary! Yes, there is the fame and the praise that you get along with years of sweat. I must say that people don’t like what you write until you can relate it with them. Incentives, people look for them. Today, I’m writing because my heart tells me to do so. Over a year, my writing has become more effective and that credit goes to this blog. It is often easy to impress others, but not yourself.
      Have you ever lived a moment in slow-motion? Have you ever felt time slow down at a particular moment? There are the times which you would always love to carry around in your heart. If these were all that you had for life, you’d be more than happy. Right from those few moments of eye contact, a hug from your mother to winning what you truly wished and worked for. Everybody has those moments. But hey, have you ever lived any sad moment in slow motion?
      Have you ever made a person who was crying laugh? I think I have! Boy oh boy, it does feel good doing so! What can be better than this? People tell me that I look very ‘serious’ all the while. Sometimes I think whether that is good or bad! But all I can say is that if I can, so can you! Learn from me that you don’t need to be a joker to make a people laugh! You just have to be a person who is willing to make someone’s day. Have you anytime made someone’s day and preferred to not let the person know that it was your deed?
     Jokers, eh? It’s their job to make people laugh. Once, somebody told me to be like one. Even if you are hurt, you are in pain, no worries. Spread happiness. Maybe that will make you happy! If you can’t be happy, let others be! It’s real easy, to put on a fake smile. And if you are not a good actor (I am not!), it is even more easier to catch you in the act. Don’t act happy to fool your own self, it will never work. Act happy to fool others, it might just work!

The next time some guy dials up a wrong number and get’s connected to you, tell him that mistakes do happen. Tell him that it’s no problem. And yes, don’t forget to wish him goodnight. Why are we so shy?

      So when was the last time when you cried your heart out? Locked yourself in a room and punched a few pillows? Was it the bad marks? Was it love that meted out injustice to you? Whatever the reason maybe, take care. Take care that you end up being a stronger person every time you come out of an horrendous experience? Hey, ever cried out of happiness?
     Goosebumps! I’m getting them all over my body right now. Funnily, I don’t know why! I’m acting hyper. Feels like I’m on caffeine!  Have you ever felt like Superman? Have you done anything crazy lately? Danced alone on a song, perhaps? Or laughed staring into nothingness? I do that all the while. People think I’m mad. And I love it that way! Do you?
       Sometimes I do mistakes. I do a lot one day, none on the other. But I’m not supposed to be perfect. No one is! Making mistakes makes me realize that I am as human as any other person. They do say that folks should learn from their mistakes. But there are times wherein I love to do the same mistake again, or do new mistakes for what I learn each time is new. Is there any particular mistake that you would love doing? Just for that experience! Every one has some or the other stuff that is to be proud of. Stuff that is locked up and stuffed in the attic of guilt. Yes, there are a few things that I’m not proud of. But I have learnt to live with them, and not totally wash my hands off them. Keeping them constantly in your mind helps you to steer clear of such land-mines that can leave you handicapped for life.
      Alright, answer this! Is it better that you know many people? Or is it better that many people know you? And no, one doesn’t always imply the other. I’m confused on this one! Maybe you can be of help. Though this up when I was at the saloon yesterday. For the first time in my life, I fell asleep while I got my hair cut! And someone proclaimed that I looked like a blue ‘Angry Bird’. All I could respond was by scratching my head and wondering, “Really?”
     So have you ever found yourself listening to a song for quite a long time? It might be a song that you love, a song that suites your current mood (maybe a mood-changer song!) or because you have had heartbreak? Have you ever heard about sematic satiation? It’s the phenomenon wherein a word loses its meaning when repeated often enough. Try it.
…love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love….
    Yes, that’s the sad state. It is over used. Why do we have to go about naming every feeling? Sometimes I find that they loose their meaning when we cheapen them using words. And love is a broad word. I regret the fact that people sometimes use the word for anything and everything. It’s not a word that I’d look into a dictionary to find meaning for. And yes, it’s not only people that one can love. Frankly, I get scared of using the word. If I ever utter “I’m in love”, people pounce on me. “Who is the lucky one? Who is she?”. I can only sigh.
     To be selfless in love is not at all an easy task. It no ways is. It’s hard not to be jealous, frustrated and angry when someone does better than you at something that you love, when someone steals away your loved one. But if ever were so, that wouldn’t be love I say. It’s confusion and chaos. One never expects anything back. Keeps on going, dedication, hard work and a smile. If you do it for anything, that’s love!
       Lastly, have you ever stood on the edge of a cliff or in the deep sea? Surrendering thyself to the  forces of nature? The winds that whistles, the leaves that shimmer being the only sounds that matter. The waves rock you back and forth like a mother rocks her young one’s cradle. Let them overpower you. Take you away where you are destined to be. The vastness of the deep blue sea awaits, the transient currents being your vehicle. Let it go, your worries.
    Phew. What else do I have to say? Nothing. Yapped a lot today. But yes, this world is full of ‘oh-so-amazing’ people. People who are waiting to be discovered! People who have always been hiding their true selves. It is that they were hiding it, or you were not seeing it? Ask yourself.
    Go out. Show the world that you too are a work in progress. An instrument that craves for perfection despite knowing the fact that one can’t be so. Show them all that you live life for your own self.
Close your eyes, and give this a listen.
Keep it simple, silly!
thebiggerbang

Oi pilot!

An attempt to write down in one sitting how a day in a life of a motorcycle-pilot can be.

 

         Today, I am writing down something meaningful for the first time in my life.  It took me some time to get started though, and my wife is still wondering why I have decided to take my son’s pencil in my hands. But I can’t help it! My brain is clogged up with thoughts like never before. It has been an extraordinary day for the motorcycle pilot that I am!

      I have decided to stop surviving and start living. I have not read all the great philosophers that you might have, but I have had experiences. The ones that can change a life.

      It’s been two years since I started ferrying Mohanji to the temple every morning. He is the typical old aged guy that you see all the time; complete with a walking stick and a shopping bag in his hands. Not to forget, those thick glasses that sat on his nose! Well, I still remember they way I first met him. While returning home, I saw this old guy chasing down a pick-pocket with his stick. Yes, it was hilarious to see such a scene but I saw some extraordinary spirit in this guy. After he finally let go of the pick-pocket I decided to take him, free of cost. It was a decision that I would never regret!

     Today, like any other day he was the reason why I wake up with enthusiasm. Picking him up every morning and listening to how his day was is what makes me look forward to live another day. He tells me that he has only his wife to talk to. His kids abandoned him few years ago with pension being his only means of earning his bread and butter. But today was destined to be different. Mohanji never came. The only time this had happened before was when he had fallen down from the stairs, a year ago! I waited for quite a while. Growing impatient, I walked up to his house. To my surprise, there was a lock on the door. A few moments later, I came to know that he had passed away the day before.

    For a moment, I thought that a part of me went numb, something went missing. I never felt as hollow as I had felt at that moment. With a heavy heart and an utterly confused mind, I walked towards my motorcycle. I drove away in denial to the very same temple. I had to say a few prayers for my dead friend who had taught me enough already. Those two years, they just flew past my eyes. Sigh! I had to move on. Somehow or the other, I had to!

    The morning passed by and in a few hours I found myself resting near the beach with my tiffin box. I had a few minutes to have my lunch if I wished to bag a few decent trips. Then again, I got reminded of Mohanji.

      And then for the first time in my memory, I felt frustrated, as if a war was brewing within myself. So this was how it felt! For the past few years I felt no sense in feeling sad, depressed or lamenting over something. I accepted the fact that I’m here to eat and sleep, and perhaps feed my family. Where does the pain fit in? How does it matter when I barely manage to make end meet? And then, something weird happened.

     I cried.

    You might ask me what is so great in crying, eh? Have you anytime felt frustrated? That too in the middle of a crowd? Suddenly realized how bad things were? You must have! But today, the loss was unbearable. And without paying attention to all those people passing by, I cried out aloud. There I was, doing things that I never thought were socially acceptable. If babies can cry, why can’t I? If people kiss on a beach, no one cares. But if I cry at the same place, they all think that I’m gone mad. Some might think I’m suffering from a deadly disease. Makes me wonder, what is the difference between these emotions? People are at peace with happiness, aren’t they?

     But there was a gem that i unearthed from today’s experience. One should always express their emotions. Putting a lid on them, especially for years makes you less of a human. Someday, sometime they all are bound to burst out as a volcano. Some cry for attention while others cry hunting for peace. Emotions are meant to be expressed, not buried deep within.

     I love watching people on the streets. They walk, they talk and sometimes they run. While some run behind the busses that they are about to miss, others run like wild apes after money. I wish I could do something with my life, I wish I could be one of those rich guys……but….. Sigh!

     It was late afternoon, all that gloom had worn off. And I was out on the streets, doing my usual trips. Just after dropping a woman and her child at the bus station, I came across an unusual sight. It was a monk in ochre. Buddhist, if I’m not mistaken. And as I stared at him, I realized that he was walking in my direction. Ah! this day is already turning out to be impactful, I thought to myself. And yes, it turned out that he was new to the place and it seemed that he was here to meet a childhood friend of his who apparently lived on the other edge of the town. Not bad, I thought to myself. Maybe I can get some conversation started!

   As it turned out, there was no need for all of that. We soon indulged in small talk, good enough for such a long trip through the traffic. But as luck would have it, we met with an accident soon enough!

   With all those things that happened to me today, I was not in a right state of mind. Add to that, talking with a guy seemed to distract me more than usual today! With all of these things going against me, I crashed into a big car. At such times, it doesn’t matter how many potholes and stupid drivers one has evaded in his driving career. One mistake can spoil your life and the customer’s life too! All because of a mistimed brake, I crashed into the rear of that car. Both, me and the monk were thrown off the bike. Soon enough, a crowd gathered. The driver of the car came barging at me and gave me a slap. There was a huge commotion, but funnily I didn’t speak a word. I didn’t react at all. The driver, the rich man that he seemed he was kicked my motorcycle and after finding it futile to argue with me, just jotted down the registration number and vacated the place.

   I burst out in a smile the moment he left. I still wonder why I did that! Someone told me that when you get depressed, the craziness gets to you! Soon, we were on our way. Oh the bike! It wasn’t damaged a lot, just a dented mudguard and that’s all! In no time, our conversation was back on track. Just that it took a different route this time. It was about serious stuff!

    The monk first lauded me for my ability to stay calm in such situations. He was under the impression that I could control my anger and such. But he was in a state of shock when I hold him the truth. When I told him that the friend the ‘rich’ driver was once a best friend of mine. That I used to share my tiffin with him way back in school. That a lottery win has taken him where he is right now. Yes, that is the truth. I wonder how a friend could ever slap another.

     And the best was about to come! Soon enough, the monk told me about the Buddhist philosophy of ‘detachment’. All that he said was that once you are used to something like a material object, a person or a way of living, one should also make himself tough and brave enough to survive without that particular thing. He says that things don’t last forever. If even they look to do so, we shouldn’t be shocked it something turns against out wishes. One should accept such hiccups and live on! An old friend mistreating me was bad enough to shock me out of wits. But if due to certain circumstances things have turned out to be that way, I should do my best to get it back to good. Morals and values take a toss in-front of materialistic goals, he was saddened the most with this fact!

    The time had come for me to drop him to his destination. I just hoped that he too didn’t receive a cold shoulder from his friend. Then I thought if I really wanted to be a ‘rich’ guy one day.

    With all that happened today, it took time for all of this to sink in. But in the end, it all made sense. Here I am, facing a loss and nursing a slap which my wife still doesn’t know about. All I wish is that she doesn’t mistakenly assume that a kiss is what has given me a red cheek. My hands are aching now, I have written too much. Enough of my stories for now! That was a day in my life, not just another ordinary day.

Happism.

Just one question. It might change your life.

If you follow a particular religion, I just need you to tell me why you do so.
Once you do that, also tell me why you do not follow other religions that are accessible to you.

If you could answer all that without feeling uncomfortable or dumbstruck , you need no help! Be happy that you  know what you are doing.
But if you felt that I just shook you awake, opened up your eyes or so then this is absolutely for you.
     Now if you believe in the existence of a certain entity called ‘God’ then please take note that religion does not start and end with praying and performing rituals to appease him when you feel threatened by your future. Even if he exists, the entity is not there to help you in times of trouble. Only you can. That’s simply lame! Let me assure you that rituals are not going to take you anywhere closer to your goals. Time for you to rethink even more of you believe that praying to Lord Ganesh makes you a Hindu and doing the same to Jesus makes you a Catholic. If you can relate yourself with this, do bother to imagine myself laughing at you.
    Although I’m an atheist (Scientific Pantheist) to be specific, I shall not indulge in rubbishing the institution of ‘God’ here as it is beyond the purview of our discussion. Also, in a short while I shall try to present before you a widely prevailing scientific theory that your future exists and is as much real as your past. That if there exists a theory of everything, we can look at the universe using a deterministic view. Your future could be predicted using equations as I have already posted before. No, that doesn’t mean that your astrologer already knows them. If he did, he would have already bagged the Nobel.
   The undeniable fact is that we have deviated so much from our roots that we have forgotten our core values. Ask any kid, he will tell you that he follows his religion as his parents do the same. I find it hard to digest. If we do not like their style of clothing or maybe the music that they prefer, we vehemently voice our opinions. But why are we scared to do so when it comes to religion? Without having a grasp over the core thoughts, how do you even ‘follow a religion’?

Have a look at the definition of ‘religion’ itself.

re·li·gion

noun /riˈlijən/  religions, plural
1. The belief in and worship of a superhuman controlling power, esp. a personal God or Gods.
   
2. Details of belief as taught or discussed.
   
3. A particular system of faith and worship.
   
4. A pursuit or interest to which someone ascribes supreme importance.

As you see, religion was meant to be a way of living life. And we all know how bad the implementation has been. Ancient texts which dictated the truth have been tarnished by we, humans.

   Lets get to the point.

    Majority of people lack philosophies for life. They just survive, not live. Do ponder upon this subtle difference. Ask yourself and note down what beliefs you have faith in. If you do not mould your life and it’s subsequent workings around certain ideas, you are no better than a lost soul! Do you have firm ideas that you will follow and find peace in till death? If you haven’t picked up lessons from your observations and experiences, you are just digging your own grave. And praying to God is not going to make the situation any better.

        It’s time to rise high above religions. Above casts, creed and discrimination. It’s all about being human, with a spice of our own!

    After giving it a lot of thought, I have gather up the courage to propose a set of philosophies that will make sense to anyone and everyone. They are not an alternative to religion, but are at a different level altogether! They are simple and they are effective in today’s world. They are fundamental truths that you just can’t ignore, you just can’t contradict. They are elegant and beautiful.

Together, they make up ‘Happism’.

It’s a compendium of the cream of all religious philosophies. It’s a pile of our own experiences. A guide to live life happily and to keep others happy to.

Goals of Happism

• To make and keep everyone happy from within, all the time.
• To make human relations richer and less complex.
• To make people stop surviving and start living.
• To collect, spread and empower people with the power of Happism.
• To eradicate discrimination between people of any sort.
• To convince people that humanity can override any ‘higher power’.
• To walk hand in hand with scientifically established truths.
• To safeguard the integrity of the above listed goals.

Remember, you might be mortal. But not your thoughts!!

Features of Happism

• No ruling authority or leader as thoughts are universal.
• Anyone and everyone can pick up the philosophies and adapt them as per his/her situation without distorting the ideas beyond recognition.
• People are encouraged to contribute to the main ideas, making it a wiki of ideas and philosophies.
• One can take it up being an atheist or a theist as these thoughts do not comment upon ‘God’.
• As it runs parallel to religion, one doesn’t have to swap religions. Be secular. Show respect.

Feel free to have a healthy discussion below about the thoughts as presented above! I shall unveil the main philosophies only when we all have a discussion, when we agree upon stuff. What we are looking for is stuff like ‘Always speak the truth’. Let me again clarify that I have nothing against theists, and this is to do with ideas around which our lives revolve.

Like Happism on Facebook to show your support!

So please contribute towards it. Spread the word! Please contribute! I can’t do this alone. We can.

Steve Jobs. When apples couldn't keep doctors away.

  

  Today, we all stand at the crossroads of technology. I’m listening to songs on my iPod Touch, and I feel depressed. They might call you a genius, a pioneer or maybe the best innovator the industry ever had. But I’d say that you are one of the best persons who ever walked on this planet. Some might rubbish you for not being the perfect person, but they might just be jealous of you. For now, let's assume you are near perfect. No, one doesn't don’t have to be a geek to appreciate you!

You are Steve Jobs.

     It’s true that we realise the true worth of anything once we have lost. Yes, I miss you already. I can’t help writing down why you were, are and will be of great worth to the whole of humanity. Life is a waste without knowing about you, without experiencing the elegance and simplicity that you spread. As a friend of mine pointed out, you might have died at 56 but there are more than 56 reasons to remember you.

    You were adopted right when you were born. Now I don’t know how that feeling is, of living your life and being cared for by people who share no blood with you. But I am sure it wasn’t the best that ever happened, yet you found paradise in it. That’s what being human is all about!

   You dropped out from college. No, that’s not a example that everyone should follow. There is no fun when a deviation becomes the norm of the game. Yet, you toppled all those who passed out from the best of the best universities in the world. But that’s not the fact why I look up to you. It’s the passion, the will to make an impact, the killer instinct that drives you to make the world a better place that got you up there.

   You taught me that the dots will connect looking backward. Sitting down on the floor besides many young people of my age, I was impressed yet skeptical when I listened to what you had to say at your Stanford Commencement Address.  One year down the line, I saw the video again. And it so much makes sense! In fact, your video was a part of the jigsaw, it was a dot by itself that I have connected today, all thanks to the soul-searching that I had to do for my MIT application. Things, both bad and good make sense to me now. They happened for a cause, and will happen. I have learnt to accept things, yet question them!

    Technology, you changed the way we define it! It’s an indispensible part of our lives all thanks to you! Yes, you are the Rajinikanth of Silicon Valley! I heard that you got kicked out by the person you got into your company. Ouch! Yet, you coped up with it and had the last laugh! How did you do that? How can anybody withstand all that mental and social agony and rise from the ashes? When people clap for your innovation and simplicity, deep down they are jealous. They know they will never be able to reach to your level. I bet heaven will be a better place from today.

      Stay hungry, Stay foolish. I found it difficult to comprehend such a statement. But with the passage of time, I have learnt that we should stop living somebody else’s life, that’s so not us! Wow. I am quoting you all over! Yes, you have revitalized me today. You have drilled the fact into me that if I carry on doing what I love, I will end up where I deserve to be!! Yes, I will! Why won’t it? I know what I love, and that’s what I am going to do. I promise you!

     People might look up stuff in the holy books to keep them going on. For me, it will be those 10 minutes of gospel truth. The truth of life! I wish I could paste it all here. But there is no need for me to do that. I will never forget those words.

    Lastly, it’s about your cancer. We were lucky enough that you could live and are extremely honoured that you served us and catered to our need to the best of your ability. Yet, there are times when the teacher has to stop teaching and let the students apply what they have learnt. Today, I feel like your student. Everyone does. Even in your death, I am sure millions will find an inspiration! Now that is the way anybody would love to bid farewell to the world. Yes, death is the best invention of life, I have played with it quite often. But overcoming death is one thing and overcoming it and changing the way people look at the world is another!

     My pretty words will do no justice to you. But I shall still cry. Will I never ever get to see you again? I really miss you.

I salute you,
I salute your spirit!
Shall never let you down!

iMidasTouch

“Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes.

The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them.

About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They invent. They imagine. They heal. They explore. They create. They inspire. They push the human race forward.

Maybe they have to be crazy.

How else can you stare at an empty canvas and see a work of art? Or sit in silence and hear a song that’s never been written? Or gaze at a red planet and see a laboratory on wheels?

We make tools for these kinds of people.

While some see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.”

-Apple Inc.

Destiny’s Children. Or another random post.

Life manages to be exciting, yet scary at the same time. But can we help it?

When words want to flow,
Things, they long to happen.
Sparks desire to fly all around,
Let them!

People, they want to be discovered.
Shooting stars await to be wished upon.
Roads, they hope you walk over.
Breathe life into them.

The present will soon be the past.
The past, which will always last.
You shall always remain who you are.
Destiny’s child.

   The above piece of poetry is nothing but the outcome of floating all ‘across the universe’ thanks to The Beatles. It’s much more than a song I say. Lennon, heavily influenced by the ‘Transcendental Meditation’ that he did in India, penned down one of the most poetic song that he has ever churned out. If you have not heard it yet, please do so!
                      
    On a philosophical note, life is like a roller coaster that you can ride only once. It’s free, and for every up there is a down. Reality, is an illusion. What drives you are your thoughts, your vehicle of perception. What white is for you, might be black for someone else. You might ask me what is so unique about being unique itself. Well, it’s not a flashy tag that you can wear around. It’s your attitude towards life, your nature and belief in humanity that rubs off. The more you become a part of someone, you can’t avoid that someone becoming a bigger part of you. If all of this doesn’t make sense to you, be happy. You are different from me. But if you do, take it for granted that you think too much!
     Ask yourself what you will do if you meet your mirror-self the very next moment. You feel that you are the luckiest guy around. But then, wait for a day. He does what you do. He has done and will do what you do. You have nothing to hide from him, no stories to tell or surprises to give. Will that be good or bad? I leave that question for you to answer. All I can tell you is that never touch him. If he is your anti-matter image, you both will end up as a hoard of photons, with no resemblance to your former presence.
    What I tried to convey is that opposites simply don’t attract. It’s the law of nature. It’s not healthy to search for a person just like you. Variety is truly the spice of life! It’s being different, having undergone a different set of experiences that makes this world tick. The rich and the poor, the bus driver and your favourite author. The Suppandi and the superman, they all have a niche for themselves in our life. Well, it’s time we respect these small differences. For if you look at the similarities, don’t crib over the fact genetically speaking that the ape you see in the zoo is 98.5% similar to you! Life might be an exam, but I can assure you that no two people will ever be made to answer the same paper. So it’s of no use trying to ‘copy’ or imitate someone else’s living. Be different and scream, roar aloud riding the roller coaster of your dreams. Well, or do this.

       If you are still awake, let me tell you how the past few days were.
My geology practical examinations took place on the 29th of September. Well, the time limit stressed me out. And yeah, I came home with a bad mood, put on the internet and hunted for peace on my iPod. And naturally, I Facebooked. There, I met this crazy girl who hates veggies, her name being Saloni Sardessai and somehow ended up chatting about Sagittarius. Here is how the conversation was like.

She : Sagittarians are an amazing bunch!
Typical Me : Have ever seen the constellation itself? The Milky Way is soo beautiful!
She : Wow! I’d loveeee to see it!
Me : Do you have a terrace?
She : Not one, but two!
Me : See you tonight!

Yeah, that’s how stuff is with me. I’m pretty instinctive and a man who lives for the moment. And when something is remotely related to astronomy, I don’t see why I won’t jump on it! We added two more people to the list. Maithili ‘sorry’ Shankhwalkar and Akshay ‘oxy’ Juwarkar were ever-willing to join in to do some astronomy for the first time in their lives. It was truly fun, and I naturally can’t describe it in words!
Here is a list of what we saw.

The Summer Triangle. Cygnus, Aquila et Lyra.

Teapot eh? well, our ancestors thought that this was a centaur and named it as ‘Sagittarius’!

   This might look like a M, W or a Σ. I leave it to your imagination! This nineteen century old constellation is known as Cassiopeia and she is supposed to be the Queen! Well, Maithili couldn’t help herself from being happy as her initial is up there in the sky!

     One of the only constellation that actually resembles the object that it is named after is Scorpio, the scorpion! The α star, Antares was as red as a traffic signal. What a sight it was, this majestic constellation!
I saw a sporadic meteor streak past, but unfortunately these people didn’t get to see it. They were all pretty much amazed at how small and insignificant we are on the cosmic scale. Yet, we cry over small things. I just can’t stop getting philosophical!!
Although we did not see the Milky Way, we had an amazing time at Saloni’s place! If not for astronomy, we always had some gossip! And the best part is that the girls built up some curiosity about Greek mythology into me! Life was at its best. I had my chemistry practical exams the next day, but I was pretty much confident about them. Moreover, I had a life to live and constellations to hunt on Akshay’s iPad!!!

These Facebook statuses sum it all up.

Yes, I am using Facebook’s new ‘Timeline’ feature before it is even released! Boo you!
     Talking about yesterday, there was this quiz organised by the PTA of GVM’s Higher Secondary School and was quiz-mastered by Wilson Vaz, who is an amazing physics teacher and person besides being a really cool quiz-master! It was to be my last school quiz ever!!! Now that’s something really emotional!
   Now what is life without a little bit of thrill? So let there be spice. Me and my partner Pradnya Rane were told by the school authorities that the quiz beings at 10:30 am. But on the day of the quiz, reading the circular I realized the time for the preliminaries was 9:00am. I looked at my watch. It was 9:01 am. And then we just panicked! But we had a lot of luck, so we made it.
     Me, Pradnya, Shantanu Kulkarni and Akshay Juwarkar finally reached Kala Academy, the venue for the quiz. I was participating in a GK quiz after a year. I had lost my ‘Midastouch’ in quizzing, or at least that’s what I thought! As per me, we fared badly in the prelims. Little did we know that others had it worse! Akshay constantly told me that people there feared me more than anybody else. I had developed a killer reputation two years ago, and that is still imprinted on their minds! But I was like “Dude, I am no longer THE quizzer! I have come here for fun, and not to win it!”.
     But destiny had some other plans for me. Fast forward, it was a easy ride and I scraped through with a mere lead of 5 points. I felt that I had won this quiz merely on my past experiences and not on terms of my usual heroics and buzzer tearaways! But it counts as a victory!  The second place went to Mushtifund-Aryaan HSS, it’s all in the Mushtifund Saunstha I say! Shashwat and Tiwari were amazing competition and Akshay along with Shantanu proved to be a real good ‘support staff’! Not to forget, Mushtifund HSS wouldn’t be up there if it was not for Pradnya! Hats off to her! Yeah, that’s what they called themselves! I am leaving the field while I stand at the peak.
     Quizzing was, has and will be an integral part of my life. I dedicate the nearly 15 state victories to all the people who make me up. If you think it is you, give yourself a pat on the back! Thank you!
     That’s a small part of what all happened this week. It was really exciting. Like nothing before! And yeah, I have some amazing announcements to make and will blog about them real soon!

Till then, Clear skies!!
thebiggerbang

To Dream Or Not To.

“Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars.”

     Only if life was this easy, and quotes like this were the secret to success, I wouldn’t be writing this post and nor would you have bothered to read it. If you are just another guy who find this topic relevant, let me tell you that you are not alone. In this post, I shall try to give my personal opinion on the uncertain future, dreaming big, the anxiety and the fear of having to deal with a tragedy at the end of the struggle. I may not be the guy with a lamp who shall  guide you to safety at the end of the road,  for I myself am searching for a refuge. Rest assured, you will feel better by the time I wrap up this post. It’s a candid post I’m penning all this down to satiate my thirst for the truth because drinking Sprite won’t work. I tried.
      We all dream. And we all dream big! Remember, what might be a small dream for you isn’t that small for your neighbour. And while it might mean getting into the best university for you, it might as well mean making the hottest girl on campus fall for you. Some, like me tend to get obsessed with one particular dreams whereas a ‘gifted’ few have the innate ability to jump from one failed dream to another. And it’s not that one always becomes successful by being obsessed! I wouldn’t be wrong in saying that dreaming, and hoping for the best comes naturally to us.
    But the question is whether it is fair for everyone to dream big, hope for the best against the odds and live under a constant fear of rejection and failure. What if you aim for the moon and miss it? There is a vast void between the stars! What if you end up there, in the middle of nowhere? It’s a question that doesn’t let you sleep if you plan to run against the wind. It’s like walking on the road less taken, alone at night. However strong and fearless you might be, no human will ever tread this path without looking behind, for help or for moral support. Unless you are Rajinikant, you will doubt if you can make it. Maybe once, maybe twice, but one will! At least I do it all the time, perhaps I should try adding –inikant to my name! There is the fear of the unknown that holds one behind. It’s a fear like none other. Getting scared of where you will be and who you will be a few years down the lane can either screw your case up, or it can elevate you to the next level and make you achieve great heights in life. It simply depends upon your own set of experiences and your attitude.
    Yes, this post is somewhat focused towards all the students just like yours truly and was due sooner or later. For those who do not know, I’m currently in the 12th standard, supposedly firm on my career decision, according to a few I’m doing great. But what is the use of people saying this and that if I myself am not satisfied? I’m asking for more not because I know that one ceases to be a ‘human’ once the desire for excellence dries away, but only because you and the whole wide world, I’m in the pursuit of happiness. I’m trying to live the middle class dream. What I dream of looks so gigantic to me that on a certain day it might look like a cakewalk, but on a few others I feel like I will never survive the climb. A few things that I have realized that when you plan to steer against the tide, you do need a anchor, a pillar like support in your life. At least I do! I know I should have faith in myself till the end. Faith not only that I shall make it to the top, but also that if required I shall accept that fact that I was not sculpted to accomplish the task.

       This world can easily make you feel like a dog, even if you are not. People who have either a big, inflated ego or just the opposite, it is very difficult to find a right blend, a perfect cocktail of a person! The funniest part is that it does not take much flattery or criticism to push you from one category to another. I have come across a wide range of people in this respect. It’s not a good sight, I tell myself. The truth is that we all have been there. Either thinking too high of themselves or thinking that we are good for nothing. One fails to realize that even the best in the game has his reservations, he too doubts his own self to some extent! In my class, there are a lot of people who are dreaming of getting into the IITs and are working hard towards it. I truly wish they make it, that dreams their dreams come true and stuff, but sadly the best of the best are also not sure of making it large. I am basically trying to convey is that stuff like this happens to all. It’s all a part and parcel of life that we are destined to go through. Such experiences make us stronger and rugged as a person. That’s how we should look at it.
    But yeah, there is no substitute for toiling for two years. No one in the world, except the people sitting around you in the examination hall can help you to take a step ahead. Take notice of the fact that I have not used the word ‘succeed’ here. Dreams will always remain dreams. But I sweetly promise you that all your nightmares will come true! So be prepared for the worst if this paragraph describes your attitude the best.
    I know I have started form one place and kind of drifted away, that’s how I am these days. A little bit of stuck between the devil and the deep sea. All I wish to do in life is to make a sincere contribution towards our understanding of mother nature. And with all your wishes, I should be able to do so, overcoming every hurdle in my path! Yes, I have decided to stay firm on my decision, of exploring the world the way I want to. I’m willing to learn from all my mistakes and better them! Well, I’m willing to do anything to make it up there. Just hope for a fairy-tale ending.
    The main aim of this post was to shout out all the negative thoughts aloud, to get them out from your and my mind. I just hope I was successful in doing so, and even if I was not, I have something in store for you, the readers. Presenting before you, a slightly different and personal take on this topic by my cousin, Shibani Timblo who has happily accepted my request to collaborate with me on my posts. Read on!

Dreams : The Light In The Tunnel Of Survival

     Dreams could be interpreted in innumerable ways such as marvels, aspirations, ambitions, reveries, fantasies. For me here its aspirations as well as ambitions. Looking closely, there is a slight but pivotal difference between the two. Aspirations are the dreams you would want to live wherein satisfaction and pleasure is guaranteed but not other parameters as in the case of ambitions like “the moolah” as we call it. Having them is an integral part of every individual life to, as I said above, have a purpose, that is, a reason to care to survive the big bad world which could crush us but only our dreams can motivate us to fight back.

      Yes, my dreams have overwhelmed me, so much so that my tale of survival is an enormous battle. A battle that wont just reward me survival but will grant me solace, happiness, gratification and victory. Solace with myself, my duties and my peers and the fact that I haven’t let anyone down along with doing justice to myself. The happiness, rapture and euphoria of fulfilment that will be bestowed upon me after a determined fracas put up by me. Being gratified of achieving what I’ve strived for, what I’ve yearned for. And victory being the aggregate of all these sentiments, the ultimate resultant sentiment of all my efforts. My personal favourite quote is Sigmund Freud’s view regarding dreams, ”Dreams are often most profound when they seem the most crazy.” Although he meant our fantasies but in this lunatic world, our ambitions too can drive us crazy making our lives more profound.

      No dream, big or small, is insignificant but well can be unrealistic as I myself had a series of outrageous dreams. From modelling to acting to philanthropy ( although I’m still keen on that) to aeronautical engineering (craziest yet) to medicine. Never gave myself a thought about what I was thinking! Never pondered on why I wanted to or whether it was what I really wanted all my life, whether all my efforts towards obtaining degrees in those fields would be meaningful to me. As I matured and began to reflect, I began to understand the complexities of life, that life wasn’t a piece of cake specially where IIT is the primeval temple of study in India that offers almost 7000 seats to the Indian student population adding pressure to the already tensed situation of economically strained demographics of the country. Moreover its become a fashion to join coaching institutions to get into IIT. I too, was a part of the fashion followers, not realizing what I was getting myself into. The hectic schedule of college as well as the coaching classes induced me to plan out my life which helped me be conscious of the fact that it was the need of the hour to set it right for myself. That’s when I started discovering the hidden passions in myself.

     My plan was to combine my aspirations and ambitions together. As soon as my soul-searching began, I realized that my aspirations were my priorities that was to live in an independent life, earning enough to sustain me but also perceived that all my life I had craved to do something good for myself, fight against the atrocities done to women, educate denizens from all walks of life, explore the world, LEARN – thanks to the repulsion caused by the IIT frenzy and HSC method of mugging up. The merriment I had derived from learning made me conclude that research and teaching were the kind of jobs for me. And fortunately, they went hand in hand. That’s where I had won half my battle, my plan was complete, I knew where to be and what to do since I was aware of what I could do the best. Being an avid science, specially biology and chemistry, student I figured biomedical sciences was the course for me. I believe that if one dreams, they should dream big and so I set my target as Stanford, my dream school.

      Now I have a clear road to travelled on, the hard way. But on the brighter note the road less travelled by, where they’ll be obstacles which will make us more resistant to future hitches, experiences that will last as remembrances forever and of course the golden opportunity of standing out, now who wouldn’t want that? That’s the essence of our lives my friends, to make a difference by doing what you love not by struggling. Success and the moolah will not only come easy but also gratification and happiness. Dreams either happen or shatter, but that shouldn’t dissuade us from having them. Dreams should be inspirational, whether they occur or not is immaterial as I have faith in the saying that efforts never fail.

   I do not think that this topic requires a conclusion to be drawn. Our story is a story that is being written and as Shah Rukh Khan said, “Picture abhi baaki hai, mere dost!!”. I leave you with a question to ponder upon. Is it a crime to dream big? Or is this a good example of triumph over adversity?

Midastouch

(PS : If you believe in God, please do not burden him with requests to give you a good rank. Sadly, he can’t accommodate all of  the people who pray into the top colleges. So please pray asking for him to give you the power to believe in yourself!)