January 25, 2013

Nomad.



  This is a post that I penned down sometime back in September, and had to stop it because my mom thought it was too late for me to stay up, 3 am. I could not publish it back then, and revive my blog. But here I go. Some things are better left unfinished. 

Nomad

It was a long wait, for me and for you.
To forage thoughts, woven into words.
To discover paradise, find it everywhere.
For I’m a nomad, I belong to the world.
We are a wonder, born out of another. 

It’s been quite a while and the sweeping changes never seem to stop. The world around me has changed, yet it has remained the same. In the following thoughts, I shall place before you what I learnt in the last few months.

                It’s all about being in motion. You stop, you rot. We are all nomads in life. Looking out, seeking that one moment in time that justifies our entire existence. One moment, that makes you feel worth it. On a personal level, I’ve just moved on from high school to college. And expectations as I was told were sometimes surpassed and otherwise thrashed. In the midst of all, what never changed was the fact that we were constantly chasing that moment. It was, it is in sight but never in our hands. Like a rat running behind a bait, sometimes only to meet death.  I ask myself, when is the next time when I am going to spend a good three months on my own bed, in my own home? I don’t know. And then, I wonder what my bed, my home mean. I’m a nomad. I have no possessions.  The universe is my home. It is where I shall rest.

                I remember very well, my English professor reading out about detachment from a book. It’s all about staying aloof and not at all about disowning stuff. You are not going to leave behind anything besides your thoughts and deeds. Good or bad, you decide. But when it comes to put it into practice, I’m partially successful. I am still pissed because I don’t have any of my childhood toys as a memory. I get reminded of my old house and the memories I have of it. It no longer exists, but the memories do. The river of time has tugged me on.  If I could, I would preserve every piece of my material existence. They hold value for me.  Yet, I wish to be a detached soul, who doesn’t attach value to belongings. Oh, what a dichotomous nature I have! Someone please help me out!

                It’s not about seeking the best people in life. It’s about seeking the people who get the best out in you, without you knowing and you naturally getting out the best in them. Holding steadfast to such folks is a challenge. Time, distance and thoughts wait to play with your links, your bonds. It’s about realizing that true love lies in rising above them all, and staying there no matter what. Friends come, and they appear to go. Your love and affection for them ought to be too pure to be ever taken to test by agents of change. I’d value a friend who can go without talking to me for a year and yet be the same person to me as before over one who constantly tries to keep in touch, but never strikes a chord. Respect can be given, but love goes only to the deserving I think. Although I’m willing to give toffees to the one who stays in contact as well as deserves love! Trust, understanding and respect is all you need.

                It is very easy to crib about something. A tad bit difficult to take action at once! But a herculean task to keep the efforts sustained. A few months ago, I finally decided that I was ripe enough to try and help kids dream a dream, and make it true. I’ve myself been fascinated by a few simple people in my life, who take away all my pain with the way they live their lives. Made me who I am. It was time to pass the baton ahead. The smile, the spark in the eyes that you see is enough to fuel you to better in life. I am very grateful that many people have taken interest in the same and are completing their part of the jigsaw.

                I made a short film two months ago. The process taught me that it is possible to start at a point and end up a world apart with your stories, yet managing to be happy. Same goes to people and uncertainties. They are a part of life, let’s accept the fact. We all plan, we all wish that our plans should come true. A year ago, I was working for my MIT application and today I’m in BITS.  A bunch of my friends possess even more diverse stories. And we all are happy. Whether it was meant to be or not, I don’t know. All I know is that it is the reality and we got to accept it. If everything went as per plan, you’d die out of boredom, I say to myself. But that doesn’t stop me from planning. so to say.

                If you were to tell me that there was something more satisfying than being spontaneous, I would have laughed at you! I’ve walked 7 kilometers with my friends just to get some peace, waded through rains without a coat or an umbrella just to listen to a song that was worth it and hugged just to give some love. I’ve spent time feeling the breeze and also sung in front of a crowd, just because I felt so. Now these are the moments that I’ll remember the most. Now these are the moments which make me up, which make up my life.
        These are the moments.

Signing off unfinished,
Thebiggerbang

PS : Plan to blog more often now. Also, getting a website for myself. Stay tuned in :)
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Me, Midas Touch by Raj Kunkolienkar is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at imidastouch.blogspot.com
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